About 2 weeks ago I was keyed up about everything--making sure we had what we need on hand. I got so keyed up that one day that I didn't pay attention to what I was doing throughout the day and ended up at the ER wrecking my long stretch of 8 months with no AFIB and getting my heart shocked. Then, started getting weepy at night and all. I'm not gonna lie about it.
Then we got the shelter in place order.
I've gotten to the point where I am absolutely loving being sheltered in place. I feel a sense of total contentment and peace. I don't have to be anywhere or do anything off the property. I've been working an online class, started two lists of things to do...
things that need doing and things just for fun.
I don't know about anyone else but there's always something that needs doing around here and I tend to procrastinate or I get interrupted and lose my groove. Now I can do what I want for however long I want and the only person who can interrupt me and make me lose my groove---is me. And, I can take my time doing whatever it is.
When I take a step back and see how the world is changing I am stunned. Not only because people are becoming ill and/or dying but also for all the good I see happening in the world right now. So many things I couldn't possibly list them all.
I could try listing some of the local gestures...
People reaching out for help and people responding to whatever the need is--baby wipes, tylenol for a feverish child with strep, jigsaw puzzles, sour dough starters, and just all kinds of things.
Teachers parading through the district's neighborhoods with streamers and balloons all over their cars to drive by their student's homes.
The local radio station holding a "dance party on the porch" session where neighbors could all tune into the station and dance on their porches! Made me wish I lived in town right there!
And people posting on my community page that they are giving away free aquaponic greens or that they have eggs or goats milk for sale and aren't price gouging. People saying they're going into town--one woman had 300$ cash and asked if anyone needed anything.
I put out a call for chlorine bleach because we're trying to stay out of the stores. That's what I'm mainly using to disinfect and we're running low. The local pizza place (10 minutes away) owner just emailed me and is going to put us on his order tomorrow--at cost.
**Insert gratitude emoticon**
People using their neighborhood community book exchange boxes to share non-perishable food with their neighbors who can't get out.
Our local crafters are making thousands of masks right now and there is a strong need for them. People in our town going through their closets to find usable clothing to help replenish fabric supplies for those who are sewing so they don't have to try to dart out to the store or wait for an online order.
My gardeners FB group sharing seeds with each other so folks can get their seeds going without having to visit a store.
The generosity of people here has been overwhelming.
Of course there are the a-holes who are trying to run all sorts of scams but they are greatly outnumbered. Some folks offering to shop for the elderly and making off with their cash. Some guys apparently going door to door to case homes. One guy posted that he wished they'd come over to his house for a visit because he and his Glock are getting lonely. That's Colorado for you!
But overall, people caring about each other and sharing or trading what they have to offer.
Before we got the shelter in place the one and only thing that made my cry was not being able to see my people. My people are my
heartbeat. Otherwise I got ready to saddle up and ride this thing out.
But there came unexpected last minute blessings. Just when I needed them and right before we got 'shuttered".
Two days before the SIP I had to drop off something urgent at one kids' house. I visited the family by sitting on the porch and talking through the window.
When the SIP order was issued the next day for the next morning, I realized that I had promised something else urgent to drop off a another kid's house. I knew I better make a run for it and get it over there right away because I had no idea how long we'd be hunkered down for. So I got to see that family too--them up on the deck landing and me below.
When I was driving home from that last visit I realized how I had gotten all the practical things taken care of and at the eleventh hour knowing we'd be apart for who knows how long (probably months) God had given me what my heart needed without my ever seeing it coming.
My feeling heart, not the one that pumps. I cried all the way home with a sense of relief and gratitude.
Now that we know we have to stay home the relief and gratitude continues. I haven't felt so a peace in a full month as I do now. I feel pretty safe and I think we can ride this out okay. I know that one of us could wake up tomorrow feeling ill, have to go into the hospital alone and recover or die alone. But knowing that makes the days that wake up or my people wake up and are okay, that much sweeter and I drink in the simple things.
The feeling of soft cotton covers on my bare feet, the breeze through the window, the time to listen to peaceful youtube videos that I love, taking time to wash dishes by hand when I feel like it or just listening to the quiet out here.
I never loved living out in the sticks as much as I do right now.
I learned to do a few new things the past week or so. I downloaded the bank app and learned how to deposit checks on my phone. I've watched one of my kids do that. Now I can too.
Today I learned how to use video chat on messenger to visit and play with one of my younger people. I had so much fun playing for an hour. Lord I so needed to play!
I think I'm going to tackle the television next and learn how to use Netflix. There's a thing called The Windsors I want to find out about. But, all I can say is have mercy on me once I find out where HGTV is located because HGTV is one of the reasons I pulled my head out of television probably 10 years ago now. I get addicted to it and then start DIY-ing my behind off.
Which, all things considered, probably isn't a bad thing. I do have quite a lot of paint around, old furniture I can refinish, and there's always my power tools and a stack of old wood outside I could mess around with. I bet I could learn to build something!
I hope you all are doing well. I pray that you feel supported right now. I hope you are able to lean into your relationships or create new ones.
If not...there's always us MDB-ers to talk to!
Home
) pine cones on Friday or Saturday after the upcoming snow is over with and the cones dry out and re-open. I can't believe how many cones dropped on the property and I can't wait to get my greedy little hands on them. Maybe give the cat a ride in the wheel barrow. There's way too many cones to do it in buckets. I covet things like pine cones, sticks, rocks, leaves and sea shells. 